..when it’s all over
–sept30 and i’ve been singing
that song composed by Billie Joe Armstrong/Song by greenday
Tag: lost
Redemption
To walk in thousands of miles
Gathering scattered pieces
I’ll bring her back..
– inspired by movie and novel
Wild/ Cheryl Strayed
Memory Lane
I do find myself going back to that moment we met. And I,
I miss you.
One-by-one
Here I am
Counting the steps
The miles, the distance
We’ve been afar now.
I always go back
To that first day
I replied ‘hi’
When you said hello
That sunny spirit
Shining on your cheeks
Crossing over to my dampened soul.
I always go back
To where we’ve been
Chatting, the messages
In my phone
The no nonsense and the whatever
Things we argued and agreed;
They were history
I wouldn’t afford deleting.
I always go back to
That same spot we used
To by stand, killing time
But not our conversation
My insights and yours
Your rants and mine
The passions we have
In common,
The differences we respect;
Sure they divide us
But we didn’t fade out.
I always go back
To that undisturbed, wordless
Few hours
In silence, we understand
The troubled, the weary heart
Crying to the other
For comfort, embracing arms
Protecting from hurt
Restoring what was lost
That love, enough to knit
A torn part.
I always go back
To the mischievous sorts
The deliverability of our doings
That ‘fun’, ‘just now’
We’re going to not make it twice.
I always go back to that fight,
I thought it’s over..
I won’t see you again, hear your voice
but yeah, we managed to go
back where we were;
proved that our bond
isn’t stiff, it’s flexing
bamboo, bent and just
stood again.
I always go back
to the assurance of your smile,
shaking off my no confidence
that we are strong,
that we can make it
that we can conquer every doubt;
I am sure, we did.
I always go back
To that day
You gave me a hug,
It felt right, half
And half, I knew
It won’t be.
You went with Him.
I miss you.
I always go back
To where we started
To where we went
To all things we’ve been through
And will always go back
To a moment where you’re not
Just a memory
But real somewhere in my chest..
Etched and treasured, forever be my beloved.
“One-by-one Here I am Counting the steps The miles, the distance We’ve been afar now.”
the Reunion
“Who’s she daddy?” a girl in an elegant ponytail asked the man whose hands she’s holding. She is referring to that woman in front of them. The littlegirl looks at her dad and alternately at the woman.
She couldn’t understand what’s going on. It’s as if the world froze with her, wondering.Seconds, a beat of ten times passed but she couldn’t hear anything. So, sheasked again, “Dad, who’s she?” At the girl’s second attempt, the spell was broke.
“She’s your tita Thea. She’s a friend of your daddy”, the mannonchalantly replied. The woman can’t help but just to smile. “A friend”, yes,she’s really that.
“Ok, greet your tita.” The man commanded the little girl who obedientlydid as told. The woman
sat down to meet the cheeks of the little girl who’s trying to kiss her.
After the unexpected meeting,the woman just stood there where the man and the little girl left her. Shecouldn’t believe such – both the little girl and the man – but she has tobelieve it. She’d seen it.
It was her dream to have that little girl and yes, with that man. How such dream could came to life butwithout her? It took her one, two, tenseconds to recall when she dreamt of another thing, when she tried to give upthat dream – with him and their girl. All began with a promise – a promise shemade to herself. No one compelled her to do that. She just knew it would be theright thing. Her motto then was “family first”. She did everything to fulfillit. She graduated, got a title and work hard.
Althea is now thirty years old.Yet, she’s still working for the same purpose. Of all her businesses, she neglected one thing – her own happiness.
“Get somebody who could help you forever.” Those were the words of Dennis, the man in her past and recentlyappeared to her in the present. She answered that it would be “someday”. It wasthe safest answer, she thought. She didn’t know. It just slipped from her mind.No other words came out and with greetings, the conversation died that night.She must be afraid to commit to some things she might have said if other words came out – fewer words, less danger
It was her fourth year of stay in the school while it was his last year. She knew very much it was her lastchance to tell him – to empty out to him the feelings she kept for years. She’sa woman and she didn’t know how to do it. She decided to make a letter and she did.
It was graduation day. She wentto see him as she usually did whenever she could see him. She waited on thelong narrow path outside the venue. She started to be irritated when at last,she caught a glimpse of him. He and his family approached her. She smiled and greetshis parents. After that, she found herself alone with him. Heartbeats becamefaster and she thought, her voice would tremble if she’ll speak. She began itwith a smile and he also smiled at her. Then, words came out from her throat.Those words made him smile widely but sad to say, it’s not her heart talking but her mind.
“What happened?,” She could only ask herself after he left her alone. It was her last chance but she let go ofit. She was a coward. She wasn’t brave enough.
That was the last time she saw him. News came to her that he left the country to work abroad and then, no more news came.
It’s only now that she saw him again. It’s on this school reunion thatshe hoped to have a chance again but now, it’s gone. He has now a little girl –not with her as she used to dream, but with another woman.
She can no longer bring back the past and undo what has been done. It’s just now a matter of acceptance andmaybe, just maybe, she can find her happiness again by looking at him, happy from afar with his little girl.FIN
RoMa Pi 