That Moment

**While reading, I encourage you

to ponder on each line.

Read slowly, let it flow

and SERENITY be with you.

Sometimes, I

complain about LIFE

And He let me see

He let me listen

He let me feel…

Leaves falling…

Waves coming and going..

The sun setting and meeting the ocean

Rain dropping

A moon coming out

Stars shining

Lovers dancing

Pianist listening to his melody

Footsteps on a silent hall

Little girls holding hands

Running back towards happiness

Last look

Crying alone with Him

Touching the Earth’s grains

A child’s smile

A baby’s laughter

Parents’ supportive words

A son’s ‘thank you’

Everybody’s care

Someone’s love…

LIFE has too much to offer

He says I should not be tired

Put away worries and pain

And in me, He will always remain.

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Not My Choice

Whether it is disaster or luxury that you see from birth, it isn’t about your control. It isn’t your desire to be exposed to things such as poverty, hopelessness, insensitivity or having been into a privileged family. Your life is a package. The era, the situation, the people around you, your genetics, your authority and reach are all given. Struggling to live the most, the fight for every right to be walking on this ground safe and sound, however, bring differences. Some had to deal with the basic things to survive, some looks for recognition, some tend to be keepers of others (as self-fulfillment) and some tend to just give up or walk away.

I didn’t choose my life.

I might say I was dragged into it helplessly. Growing up and beating every personal record of things I do from day 1 to the nth time, I am used to it. My memory is a time capsule of my own history. That while in a change, of sudden and overwhelming change, I found and lost things and persons, and values and attitudes. All of them made me – strong, stupid, wise, and broken and certainly a warrior of life. I didn’t intend to be a hero, to be a laugh stock, to be someone to compare to, to be someone’s enemy or be home to someone’s arms. I am living what has been given. I am living because I breathe and I have a heart to feel the beat. I came to this world alone. I shall depart alone. The brightness or the dimness of what has happened in between lies to how I choose to stay, even for a while.

Not My Choice

 

First Day High (June 2005)

It’s school opening and like no other stranger on this school, I feel uncomfortable. I went to my first morning class at E23. Hmm…there were these people whose faces I don’t know. I don’t have the guts to talk to anyone so I decided to be quiet and sit at the corner near the windows. Suddenly, I was disturbed by a snap sound. I turned to my left and saw a girl snapping her fingers beside me. She introduced herself and the rest in the row. So, there I was, started to join the noise in the Louisian community.

(Hint: Okay, you can now compute my age..hahaha)

The DIY Memoirs

Single

And I have a friend who commented on one of my writings about that one destined for me – the one who without his presence, my life tends to be lonely and empty. It’s a feeling inevitable for one who doesn’t have someone around with She said, “We love being alone but we don’t fancy being lonely.” But of course, I agree. Who wants to be lonely anyway?

Loneliness is a choice. Alone-ness is a choice. But one needs not necessarily follows the other. Loneliness is a state of mind, I assume, while loving the state of being alone is a different story. And as they say, there is power in solitude. I, for one, feel it. It is the mind that may will a focused and reflective thought over unnecessary ergo complications of being alone.

Need I say what it is? Yes? Pity, that nagging part which centers only on one’s self. Why I’m alone? Why no one wants to be with me? And stating all self-fact, I am reasoning that they should chose me. However, this will bring me nothing but bitterness. I won’t live that way. I’d rather be living alone with a sunny day than taking a journey of searching someone who could be with me all the way and with a feeling of incompleteness. I’m not kicking the idea aside and away but for now, let me be.

Gladly, that stated above only happens once in a year (maybe). I choose to embrace the fun of going solo. I focus on strengthening my character through reflections alone. I get more time planning and building what I wanted to have.

My desire of being alone doesn’t shun people away from me. I wouldn’t like to. I consider that I am a social being, as my nature is. It’s just that, as I am currently running my independence, I do things single-handedly.

Guided by the upper hand, I do various activities. Like I am a jane of all trades, I want to try and experience everything that captures my interest. I do them in bold spirit. I crave for freedom in all sorts. I believe that every day is an adventure. Let the stories roll.