There are times when I need to be alone. Too, there are chances that I don’t want to tell any of my burdens to someone. It is when complications of being solo come at hand. It is dangerous to be containing pain and unshared problems. Sometimes, some tend to be suicidal but before such undesirable thing happens, I turn to two.
First is God. Remember a verse? “The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer…” (Psalm 18:2) I know that he is always watching over me. There is no security greater than knowing that an unseen blanket is shielding me against unmanageable pain. I just pray for all to be well.
Second – Be with someone when no one else is around. Ask me how. I will tell you what I do besides praying. There are ways in which you can have companions over a time wherein you mostly need an adviser, a listener or a friend.
- PLAYLIST. Research inspirational songs. Then, create a playlist of these. I have songs of Hillsong United, Casting Crowns, Eraserheads, Gary Valenciano and others in mine. Save it on your phone or music player. Listen to them when you need or when you like to. They are a source of enlightenment. It may occur that you won’t want to grab that phone, put your headset and take the messages in but please remind yourself not to be hardheaded. Yes, it takes will and may you be able to do it somehow.
- READS. The first book you should have is a personal Bible. When I am bothered, I do this Bible casting with a prayer that a message of enlightenment will come to me. It always does. It can also be an inspirational book like those written by Bo Sanchez, Paulo Coelho, and Mitch Albom. Another is you prepare a summary of verses, quotations and excerpts. Print, write or copy them and put it somewhere you can easily access or see. They will remind you to be positive no matter what.
- VISUALS and AUDIOS. Movies like Life of Pi, a Walk to Remember, and Tuesdays with Morrie are worth some diversions. Realization of the value of life and love reverses one’s perceptions. Sometimes, I turn to animated movies too. There are downloadable recordings of inspirational talks like in Podcast while there are also videos like Bo Sanchez’s the Feast and Nick Vujicic’s Life without Limbs.
- WALK, RUN, TRAVEL. I am not saying you should turn away from the problem. I call it ‘cooling down’. When I don’t feel well, I don’t go home straight. I go for a walk somewhere. I blend in the crowd while reflecting what went wrong with me. I stay there until I know I can already manage my emotions and go home. In days when I can freely do some run, I spend an hour or two. It may not be enough but somehow, it gives me time to reflect and think for a solution. An out-of-town vacation can also help. For me, I visit places of spiritual retreat and churches.
- WRITE IT DOWN. My father told me to keep a journal of beautiful and happy things. I do. When I’m down, I open my journal and read them. It’s great going back to memories which remind me to keep going. Sometimes, I also write things that toils me. All of them and while writing, I may be crying them out too. It sounds dramatic but yeah, that’s really how it is. If you’re thinking what I do with the writings, I never keep them. I toss them in the fire, tear or throw them in the trash. It’s symbolic and it helps.
- DANCE. YOGA. Keep moving. Being steady only harbors negative thinking. Be busy with something that creates an opportunity to be relaxed and be refreshed. Strategizing is better done with a quiet mind and rejuvenated body.
- AT LEAST DON’T TURN INTO THE SPIRIT OF WINE. It won’t help drinking alone. As usual, it will just give you hours of anesthesia but come next day, the trouble is still the same. Worst, you may commit something you don’t want while intoxicated. Please avoid doing it. A sign of a strong mind and will is never giving in to wrong medications.
It is inevitable that once in our lives we think we can’t do it. Being in a state of confusion, being lost or losing those we love, no one or nothing tangible can save us first. We have our minds and only we can uplift this spirit that is sinking. “Tough times don’t last but tough people do.”With God, loving people and with the help of intangible companions, we will survive a life of roses and thorns. My friend, pray and stay afloat!
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